No more F#$*s to give

Week 5.5

My capacity for worrying or giving any fucks is becoming less and less. It’s like my body is telling me what is important and what is not.  This week naps, cuddling and breaking a sweat trumps everything else.  Mornings are usually best because I feel the most energized and motivated to get going. But after 3 pm,  I start to melt and usually need to lie down before any more activity.  I also have a constant underlining nausea feeling…..ALL of the time. Morning, afternoon, evening – it’s always there. And I am told this is a good sign?Interesting. The only time that it’s not there is when I go out and do a long ride, run or big workout. For the first hour after exercise, I can eat anything and feel great. But then, it returns along with sleepiness!

I am grateful for all of my experience with feeling pretty horrible in adventure races but still pushing through. However, usually in AR the feeling passes in 24 hours at the most. I have a feeling this is here to stay for a few more weeks!

My race on Sunday was awesome, I did the Pole Pedal Paddle, an iconic local race with my teammate and we won our division!  Waking up, the thought of racing was not exciting at all. But just before the start, I started getting a little nervous and for the rest of the race I didn’t feel any more nausea!  I definitely felt worked during the skate ski and run, it felt like I could never really catch my breath.  But all in all, it was really fun, just as I suspected.

I am still deciding about a local mountain bike race this weekend. I went to pre ride the course on Monday and felt good with it but every time I tried to go hard I started to hyperventilate a bit and puke in my mouth. Apparently, my body doesn’t like hard efforts right now!  If I do it, I’ll just have to go into it with a different perspective – to be curious, do my best and have fun!  It’s nice to not feel anymore anxiety around it though, I am finally feeling like my mind and body have surrendered and are fully on board to trust each other without second guessing and feeling guilty.

This week I am loving:

Mint tea: even just the smell of mint puts my belly at ease.

Soup and Eggs:  In India we had a soup called Sambar ever morning. I am now craving it every morning and actually go to bed excited to get up and eat it.

Sleep: I wake up excited about my afternoon naps

Motion: Running and biking outside, breathing at a steady rate feels so good!

My mantra: No more fucks given. Pregnancy rocks for bringing what is the most important thing to light: Be happy, healthy and don’t take on anything you don’t want to.

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