Last week we got some pretty big news. I had my first appointment at the Women’s Health Clinic. My midwife wanted to give me an ultra sound due to some of the symptoms I was having, and she said it would give me peace of mind. Jason and I liked the sound of that, so we agreed to having one.
After a minute of her massaging my belly with her wand, I was beginning to get a little nervous. “Are you seeing what I am seeing?” she said, Jason and I peered a little closer at the screen: “No, I have no idea what we are looking at!”
“You have two babies in there! You are having twins!”
I immediately started crying – tears of joy and fear started rolling down my cheeks. I felt like it was Christmas morning and that I had just jumped off a cliff.
Meanwhile Jason is squeezing my hand with one and fist pumping with the other arm.
It is a scene I will never forget.
Ironically, that day we decided to share with the world that we were expecting. Our friend made us the cutest picture of three pairs of shoes, and we couldn’t keep it to ourselves any longer. 9 and a half weeks may be early to some people, but we are both such sharers. And I know that if anything happens, I am bound to write about it. It pains me to see and read that the norm for sharing pregnancy news in the second trimester is because of miscarriages. I hope to have a stake in changing this, because frankly the first trimester is rough. Women need all the support, compassion and understanding that they can get when they are in the first few months of pregnancy. I don’t want to have to hide my symptoms around people. Having to stay up late at a party or eat something that grosses me out right now just to be polite?! No thank you.
I do understand some people are more private than myself about their personal lives. But what I have learned from my past miscarriage is that sharing is healing for everyone involved. I found that after I wrote my story (in a blog, then a magazine), I received so much support, stories from women in return and thank you’s for putting it all out there.
I learned that pain does not have to be dealt with alone. We all have it, we all can relate and we all can help each other out. So, if it happens again, I am willing to share and recount my story.
Of course I am not counting on having to do it a second time. Hopefully I keep on growing these little seeds inside me and keep learning new tricks about keeping the nausea at bay.
While we already shared the news with family, close friends and our local community about twins, today we are sharing it with everyone!
While many of the reactions from our friends are happy ones, I have been prepared about some comments that may come my way, and have actually already received some including:
“better you than me!”
and “Nice knowing you”
I know that this is just peoples own fears being reflected on to me, and while it does hurt at first, I am not taking it personally.
We are over the moon about it all (and of course scared as hell!). The idea of having two at once blows my mind. And while I know it will be hard, we are not people who shy away from challenge. In fact, we embrace it and are constantly teaching ourselves and others to “test your limits, and then go past them.” One of our close friends was not surprised at all by the news.
“this makes total sense, you guys never take the switch backs. You always take the straight up hill and exposed route”
Why yes, yes we do!
But right now, we are not worrying about any of that. We are basking in the excitement of it all!