I recently came across this poem by Rumi that really hit me in all the right places, especially after the events of this past week.
The Guest House:
” This being human is a guest house.
Every morning a new arrival.
A joy, a depression, a meanness,
some momentary awareness comes as an unexpected visitor.
Welcome and entertain them all!
Even if they’re a crowd of sorrows,
who violently sweep your house
empty of its furniture,
still, treat each guest honorably.
He may be clearing you out for some new delight.
The dark thought, the shame, the malice,
meet them at the door laughing and invite them in.
Be grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond. ”
I have been reading this poem every morning for the last couple days and every time I read it a new line resonates with me, bringing me a new seed to ponder on.
After some days of thinking, reading, being fearful and questioning our future as a family and as new parents, I found this particular line of Rumi’s poem to be comforting and hopeful. “Be Grateful for whoever comes, because each has been sent as a guide from beyond.”
As much as I don’t like how this election went down, I do believe it has ruffled some necessary feathers and gotten people (including us) to look outside of their perfect little snow globes. The outcome has brought out some ugly actions and words in people and rather than turning a blind eye to these issues, they are now big enough and important enough that people are having to look at them (and eachother) in the eye and deal. I do believe that out of this fear, this confusion and this depression, there will be change. As already I am seeing people asking how they can take action and becoming more educated about how to be more involved and more aware about what is going on in this country.
On a lighter note, our baby shower is this weekend, and we are very excited! Family and friends are starting to come in and it feels so nice to be surrounded by such an amazing group of people. Our friends and mothers have out done themselves with planning and getting everyone together. With our house remodel done, and now the shower happening everything is starting to feel very real.. and close. Next week we start our birthing classes with our doula, and we are actually very excited to learn about all of the possibilities and what actually happens. So far, I think both Jason and I are still a little awed by the whole thing and have no idea what we are in for.
Physically and emotionally I am feeling really good. While I do have my freak outs every once in a while, it is mostly about very small things like when we don’t have enough eggs in the house (seriously). And while sometimes this does lead to crying, it very quickly turns to laughing over the absurdity of crying over only 3 eggs left in the fridge. It feels really good to be home and to be back into a bit of a routine. Every day I do my pt, belly exercises and yoga along with some type of movement like swimming, lifting, walking or riding my bike. So far my PT and Dr. both say that they are really impressed with how well I am carrying these boys! And while I do very much miss getting my heart rate up and really pushing myself, I am so grateful that I am not on bed rest and able to get outside and move everyday.
While my Dr was concerned about how little weight I have gained so far (12 pounds), she was very pleased to hear that the boys are both looking healthy and are each at almost 3 pounds (baby A:2 pounds 15 ounces and Baby B: 2 pounds 13 ounces)! Their fluid levels also look to be very good, and she says that they still have room to grow and move around. I don’t know how they do, as It feels like it’s already very tight in there! The not so good news is that both of them are breeched. So while they do look very cute on the ultrasound, as they both seem to be scheming about their future adventures with their heads together right under my ribs, I really hope they flip in the next couple of weeks!
What I am loving:
- Swimming: I have been swimming every other day since I got home from Europe – while somedays it is hard to motivate, once I am in the water I am so excited and grateful! I do have to use a buoy between my legs though, or I sink.. which I thought was really interesting.
- Teaching: We are teaching every Wed night here in Bend and online as part of our Acro Mastermind program – it is fun to be out teaching, being social and even demoing!
- baths and shower- any little bouts of hot water feel soooo good! I have to talk myself out of having to many baths or showers in one day.
- Our home! My home is finally DONE! Complete with new windows bathrooms- just in time for the winter months and the nursery is coming along as well. So far it is very simple:)
- protein – I crave all of it – I find myself stopping and staring at the rotisserie chickens at the grocery story.
- Morning cuddles: I LOVE feeling both my babies dance inside me and Jason spooning me with his hand over my belly- laughing at each movement.
Not loving so much:
- My lack of go go go energy – usually I am able to complete many tasks in one day, but these days I have to be ok with not getting EVERYTHING done and be happy for what I did get done.
- Getting dressed. Pants are still ok, but shirts are becoming harder and harder to find.
- Not being able to mountain bike, packraft, paddle, run or do a lot of acro is honestly getting old. I am getting excited to dive back in (SLOWLY).