"2 minutes" The announcer calls over the intercom.  I kiss my vial of Spirit B and put him safely in my pack, take a swig of water and head down to the start line of the Telluride 100 mtn bike race.  My nervous jitters are finally starting to fade the closer I get to start … Continue reading Telluride 100: Trusting the Process

For the past couple of weeks I have been digging deep. I have been going places that make me catch my breath and makes my heart skip a beat. I have been looking at photos of my pregnancy, the day I met the hawk, and pictures of Max and Spirit B inside and outside of … Continue reading “My Short”

27 miles, 5 adventure buddies, 2 water falls and one spirit boy:  Last time we tried to run the North Fork of the Crooked river I was 4 or 5 months pregnant with Magnus and Spirit B. I ended up turning around due to low water conditions, and my pregnant self was not into an … Continue reading Unexpected Fairy tale and Unforeseen Gifts

After having two beautiful baby boys, breastfeeding for a year and working through as well as learning from my grief, I was excited and nervous to get back into expedition racing.  Below is a little write up of my experience after a few weeks of reflection. Grab a cup of tea, sit back and enjoy:) … Continue reading A new answer

My relationship with Spirit B and death has changed so much in this last year. A year ago, when my therapist told me that someday I may be grateful for what happened to our family, I thought she was insane and honestly a big part of me wanted to slap her across the face. However, on … Continue reading A years time

After nearly a year of dealing with constant debilitating insecurity and self-loathing about my post-partum body,  a beautiful thing happened: I stopped caring so much.  How exactly? After a series of events these past few weeks, I think I finally have the recipe that helped me, which I hope can help others who may be … Continue reading Tools for Your Troubles