27 miles, 5 adventure buddies, 2 water falls and one spirit boy: Last time we tried to run the North Fork of the Crooked river I was 4 or 5 months pregnant with Magnus and Spirit B. I ended up turning around due to low water conditions, and my pregnant self was not into an … Continue reading Unexpected Fairy tale and Unforeseen Gifts
After having two beautiful baby boys, breastfeeding for a year and working through as well as learning from my grief, I was excited and nervous to get back into expedition racing. Below is a little write up of my experience after a few weeks of reflection. Grab a cup of tea, sit back and enjoy:) … Continue reading A new answer
My relationship with Spirit B and death has changed so much in this last year. A year ago, when my therapist told me that someday I may be grateful for what happened to our family, I thought she was insane and honestly a big part of me wanted to slap her across the face. However, on … Continue reading A years time
After nearly a year of dealing with constant debilitating insecurity and self-loathing about my post-partum body, a beautiful thing happened: I stopped caring so much. How exactly? After a series of events these past few weeks, I think I finally have the recipe that helped me, which I hope can help others who may be … Continue reading Tools for Your Troubles
On the eve of Max and Spirit B turning 9 months, I have a well of mixed emotions churning through my body and soul. Part of me feels so good and grounded in my new role as a mother and the other half feels like a teenage girl all over again, going through puberty … Continue reading Skin deep
There is so much about being a new breast feeding mother that is not talked about. Add on being an athlete AND breastfeeding then it really gets grim. When I first started to research, the information and pictures out there made it look beautiful and easy, or like it was the most impossible thing on … Continue reading You can almost spell TEAM in Breastfeeding
Last weekend I lined up on the start line of the Telluride 100 Mountain bike race. Despite having a rather intense week where Max, myself and Jason all got very sick, I felt oddly calm, ready and focused. At 5AM I boarded a gondola down to the start of the race. It was intimidating to glide … Continue reading Keeping Spirit during the Telluride 100
Wow, many things have happened since I last wrote. Break throughs, break downs, joyful days, and days where I felt like I was slogging through the deepest mud imaginable. I have lived life times in these last 4 and half months since my boys were delivered to our open and loving arms. My fiery, … Continue reading Stumbling, crawling and slipping along this path of mine
I have been trying to write this entry for weeks now. But every time I sit down to write, something comes up. Max gets hungry or needs my attention, or something "more important" comes up. The number one thing that I have learned through all of this is that acceptance is key. "It's OK" has … Continue reading Acceptance
10 weeks ago, Jan 14th, the day after we decided not to get induced (you can read the specifics here) , I held a dying hawk to my belly, he was not expected to live another 24 hours. I remember holding him close and feeling his amazing energy and sheer will, it was so palpable … Continue reading The Hawk and Spirit B
