There are two versions of me in the morning.
One is a reasonably patient human who can locate all the misplaced things, make breakfast and answer 51 questions about everything from why teeth need to be brushed to how mountains are formed to why some women wear tight pants- all before 9 am.
The other?
She’s running on straight caffeine, zero protein, and vibes – and she is… not kind. Or, as my kids put it “has a very mean tone.”
If you know, you know.
The Hard Truth I Learned the Slow Way
For a long time, my mornings looked like this: coffee, more coffee and then my kids left over half eaten breakfast. And then somewhere around mid morning my energy crashed, I got short with anyone who was near me and I had a weird, hollow jittery feeling that I thought was my “normal”. This honestly worked for an impressive amount of time, but once I started homeschool, I found that I had to find a new way of being because the current one was not sustainable at all. I was waking up early, training hard, and going right into homeschool on fumes and crumbs.
After a bit of a mental break down, I started to do some research and asking around to some of my peers. What I finally figured out is this:
Caffeine without protein is a trap.
It spikes you up… and then drops you straight back down.
The Simple Fix That Changed Everything
Now? Before coffee, I always consume protein and a bit of fat. Protein first thing now is everyday and is non- negotiable.
For me, making it not complicated and easy to follow is key because I am not one to make a big full breakfast spread at 6am. I barely want to chew, but drinking? Drinking my calories is something I can do easily. Enter Gnarly protein + 4 HourFuel’s Daily.
My go to recipe is below:
Gnarly Whey Vanilla Protein + Gnarly Collagen Pro + a scoop of cottage cheese + banana and a scoop of what ever seeds or nuts have in the house- hemp, sunflower, walnuts, peanut butter, etc.
And sometimes if I am super low on time/ energy, I mix a scoop of Gnarly’s Vegan Protein/ Meal Replacement and Gnarly Collagen with water.
After my smoothie, I mix a glass of 4 Hour Fuel’s Daily, which is a hydrating mix that is great for aging endurance athletes. It’s mix of Creatine HCL+ HMB +Vitamin D3 work to keep muscles and tendons healthy and strong for constant use.
This covers all of my bases before my favorite morning ritual: Coffee.
That’s it.
Why It Works (Beyond “I’m Less Mean”)
I’ll keep it simple- but below are the 4 main reasons I have found on why this works:
- Protein stabilizes blood sugar → no spike/crash rollercoaster
- Supports muscle repair → especially if you’re training consistently
- Keeps you full longer → fewer “why am I starving?” moments at 9am
- Collagen supports joints, tendons, and connective tissue → aka all the stuff endurance athletes quietly destroy
And maybe most importantly: It takes the edge off caffeine and slows the effects of it way down.
So instead of: fast, jittery and then a spectacular crash, you get: steady, sustainable and usable energy… kind of like a nice steady drip instead of it all at once.
The Real-Life Test
The biggest proof for me is my kids. And specifically our relationship and the way we relate to one another. They don’t care about macros and recovery (yet), but they definitely notice the difference between a Mama who ate her protein first thing and a Mama who had coffee + no protein before hand. Like I said before, one of those Mama’s is a lot more fun to be around. So much in fact that, that’s where the title of this blog came from! We have been playing with rhymes and reading a lot of poems lately. Hence: “Caffeine before protein makes me mean”
What This Looks Like in My Actual Life
This isn’t a “perfect routine” instagram reel worthy situation, this is exactly how it sounds: wake up, down a glass of water, pour protein, collagen, cottage cheese or yogurt, banana and nuts in a blender and drink as I’m walking around the block- letting the sunlight hit my eyes and face, while my smoothie does it’s work on my muscles and body- all while I’m still blurry eyed.
There’s no overthinking it and definitely no skipping.
Because I’ve learned the hard way:
If I wait until I’m hungry, overwhelmed and over stimulated – it’s already too late.
If You’re Struggling With Energy (or Mood )
Before you overhaul your entire nutrition plan, try this: Protein before caffeine for two weeks.
That’s it. Don’t change anything else. Take note of how you feel at 9am, 11 am, mid workout and mid day chaos.
My guess? You’ll keep doing it.
I’m not here to take away your coffee. Absolutely not, that would be beyond mean.
All I’m saying is to give it a better foundation Because a little protein first thing might just be the difference between surviving and thriving.
And if nothing else…
It might keep you from being mean.