At the beginning of my pregnancy I said I wanted to bike into the hospital to deliver Lil C. While the birth didn’t happen quite as I wanted, I did get to bike to the hospital and it all ended with Revel Wilder healthy, sleepy, and hungry in my arms.
Revel Wilder came earth side via an unplanned c-section at 38 weeks and 4 days. I went in for a routine visit where they found his heart beat to be more irregular than the doctors felt comfortable with. After Spirit B, everyone was being extra cautious, which, I was ok with. But it was still very intense to make the decision to get a repeat c-section. It was hard not to go back to two and a half years ago, where we were faced with an eerily similar decision.
However, this time, when I closed my eyes and took a deep breath I could sense some one else in the room with Jason and I. Spirit B was there. “Mama, this is different, Revel is here and ready.”
Spirit B had been showing up every day for the last week sending me messages and gifts: a goose that followed me home and hung out with us for two days, circling hawks over our house and rainbows in our yard every morning, timed perfectly at the moment that I opened the shades. And even a bird that literally kissed me on the cheek as I rode my bike along the canal. Before Spirit, I would not have even noticed these messages, but after, my eyes are now open and more more awake to these signs.
Spirit had been largely absent during this pregnancy since the moment he let me know I was pregnant in the middle of the Patagonian Expedition Race under the biggest rainbow I have ever seen. Three days in to the race, Spirit B told me he had picked this baby for our family and that he would “train” him up. “You will love him Mama”, he whispered as the Patagonian wind blew.
During the last nine months I only felt him visit a few times to say, “He is a wild one, mama. Get ready,”
And so, that is how Revel Wilder got his name. To those that don’t know our story, I will say that I named him. But to those that do know us and our story, it was Spirit B who named him.
In these past two weeks, since Revel has seamlessly become apart of our family, Spirit B has been out more than ever. Every afternoon I see him or he leaves gifts for me. In his gifts and messages, he tells me: “Mama, revel in every moment. I am here with all of you- I love you, I love you, I love you.”