There’s something about New Year’s that feels loud. And it’s not just the fireworks that are going off outside as I write this.
It’s our culture, it’s social media and it’s in our face everyday starting from around the middle of December, just when I am starting to get a bit of a grip on the magic of St Nicholas and the Solistice.
Big goals. Big declarations. Big promises to finally become a better, stronger, more disciplined version of yourself is all over the gram, and where ever else you consume your media.
And while I no doubt am all about intention and growth, I’ve learned through motherhood, endurance sport, and grief that for me, this season doesn’t always call for more effort.
Almost always now, it calls for less.
Less noise.
Less pressure.
Less forcing forward when my body is asking me to pause.
If you feel the pull to lay low right now but are feeling uneasy or guilty about it, I want to say this clearly: That’s not failure or lack of motivation. That’s listening to yourself!
I’m writing this as much for myself as I am for anyone else.
Because this time of year still presses on me. The pressure, the grief, the quiet heaviness that settles into my chest and makes forward momentum feel hard. Ever since his passing, around this time, I get a wave of grief for Spirit B. The rawness of it all has softened over the past 9 years, but it hasn’t disappeared and I hope it never does. It’s over all texture and shape has changed. And the bulk of the sadness and trauma now rests in my body.
My body has always been a place where things get stored—loss, stress, unspoken emotions—and I’m finally learning that it speaks long before my mind wants to listen. So I’m paying attention… slowly. Sometimes reluctantly (ok, more than sometimes!) But, letting myself fully feel what I would rather push past has proved over and over again to be way more successful and healthier for me.
So, while the world seems eager to charge into New Year’s resolutions with more discipline, more effort, and more drive (especially if you live in the Southern Hemisphere)—I’m moving in the opposite direction. I’m choosing stillness over speed. Care over force. Listening over proving.
For me, laying low right now isn’t avoidance.
It’s grief work.
It’s nervous system work.
It’s survival, and it’s healing.
You Don’t Have to Go All In on January 1 Either
The calendar flips, but my nervous system doesn’t magically reset.
December often leaves us depleted physically, emotionally and socially. For parents especially, the holidays can be both beautiful and exhausting. So instead of stacking a dozen resolutions on top of an already full life, what if January was about soft structure instead of rigidity and big promises?
What if it was about choosing what supports you, and not what punishes you? Here are a few things I have adopted for New Years, because honestly, I can’t fully say NO to resolutions but I can mold and change them to fit me. In case you feel the same, below I share some New Years Resolution tips.
Pick Two Things for You
Not ten and not a total overhaul of your entire life. As easy and fun as it sounds, it never lasts. Sure those first few days of eating only whole foods and no sugar may feel great and doable, but then once you slip a little, the guilt creeps and suddenly its a landslide bringing you down.
So trust me, choose two things that feel easy enough to keep doing, even on low-energy days. And, these shouldn’t rely on motivation or perfection because those always come and go.
Think simple. Think supportive.
Maybe it’s:
- Moving your body a few days a week without tracking or pressure
- Going to bed 20 minutes earlier
- Reading or writing every night before bed.
- Eating real food consistently
- Getting outside every day, even briefly.
- Drinking more water and less everything else
As an endurance athlete, I’m trained to push and truthfully, I absolutely love it. But longevity, both in sport and in life comes from knowing when not to. It’s been a hard lesson to learn, but I am finally getting there.
January doesn’t need to be your hardest month. But it can be your most sustainable one.
Pick One Thing for the Family
If you’re raising kids, choose one family intention—just one. And if you don’t have a family but have a partner or a close friend, choose something that you can do together. Having a buddy is such a huge help for both motivation and support.
For family intentions, remember that it’s not a schedule overhaul or a whole new system. Choose one thing that adds connection or ease to all of you.
Maybe it’s:
- Eating together more as a family and choosing one night a week where you each get to pick the dinner topic.
- A daily walk or a weekly or biweekly adventure day
- Reading together before bed
- More unstructured play
- Saying no to overscheduling
Family rhythms work best when they feel light enough to hold.
Ask Your Partner What They Need
Before assuming, fixing, or silently absorbing the mental load, try this:
Ask your spouse or partner,
“Do you have any intentions for this year—and is there any way I can support you?”
Sometimes support looks like logistics.
Sometimes it’s encouragement.
Sometimes and almost always it’s simply space and time.
And sometimes the answer is, “I don’t know yet.”
That’s allowed.
Starting the year with curiosity instead of expectation changes everything.
Then Go for It—Gently
Once you’ve chosen your two things and your one family thing, go for it. Not aggressively. Not perfectly. Just honestly.
Let January be a landing, not a launch.
Let rest be part of the plan.
Let “enough” be enough.
There will be time to build, push, and dream bigger. For now, it’s okay to move slowly, stay close to home, and honor what your body and your family are asking for.
Laying low isn’t falling behind.
Sometimes, it’s exactly how you keep going.
And if you’re reading this as a grieving mama, or one who feels tender without always knowing why, please know this: you are not behind and you are enough. Your quiet days count. Your low-energy seasons matter. Healing doesn’t follow a calendar, and strength doesn’t always look like forward motion.
If all you can do right now is get through the day, that is enough. If your body is asking for rest, stillness, or fewer expectations, it’s okay to listen. You don’t owe this season productivity, progress, or proof of resilience.
Sometimes the bravest thing we do is stay.
Stay present. Stay soft. Stay alive to what’s real.
And that, too, is endurance.